Maintaining Emotional Balance Through Divorce
Emotional Balance Is Key
Maintaining emotional balance and the ability to remain focused and resilient in the midst of a challenging life event requires lot of strength. Even the strongest among us can have our lives tipped upside down by a divorce. Working as a Mediator for nearly 10 years and having gone through a divorce myself, I think the emotional roller coaster we find ourselves on is so hard to manage because one day we feel as though everything will work out and the next it’s as if everything is falling apart.
Inner strength and resilience are something we all possess but don’t think too much about – until we need them. How many times have you said something like, “I don’t know how I did it?” In spite of what life throws at us we manage to get through it even when we don’t know how we did it. Life challenges us often but divorce is unique because it impacts our emotions, our finances, our security, our children and our quality of life – all at the same time.
Peace of mind may be a real commodity in divorce but there are things you can do to maintain your emotional balance, and your sanity!
Be mindful.
Thoughts are very powerful things and easily influence our moods and actions. Be aware of your thoughts and when you begin to experience inner negative chatter, redirect your attention to something that makes you feel good, or at least better. Stress and worry take their toll so give yourself permission to take a mental health break every day, it’s okay to distract yourself for a while and, no, you don’t have to feel guilty about it. Whatever problems you need to solve aren’t going to go away, but you will have a little more mental horsepower to deal with them.
Control your environment.
We all have the ability to control what we’re exposed to. Manage your external environment by minimizing your exposure to negative situations . This may require you to set boundaries with family, friends or co-workers by asking that they refrain from negative conversations about your soon-to-be-ex or your divorce. Boundary setting is not something that comes natural to everyone and may be uncomfortable to do at first, but healthy boundaries are very empowering and essential to maintaining emotional health.
Qualify advice.
Divorce comes along with plenty of advice; some we ask for and some we don’t. We all offer our opinions and experiences when we think it can help someone. But as well-meaning as it may seem sometimes the advice of others can actually work against you. While it may be tempting to take the advice of someone you know and trust, the best advice about divorce will come from those you don’t: Qualified professionals who don’t have any personal biases, judgment or emotional attachment to you or your spouse.
