Marital Homes are typically the most important asset couples must agree on when they divorce, and the decision is not always black and white.

There are two factors that influence the decision couples ultimately make about their home: their children, and whether either of them can afford the home on a single income. Hanging on to a marital home can be important if the couple has children close to graduation, and the decision may be easy if one or both spouses can afford the home. But, what about when affordability is in question? Can one spouse buy out the other? Should you sell?

Staying versus selling

Staying versus selling the home is a big decision and both have benefits and consequences. In the current real estate climate, where monthly rents are equal to or greater than median mortgage payments, selling a home can be more of a risk than staying. When considering selling and factoring in realtor commissions, moving costs and security deposits, and what each spouse may net in profit, selling may not be beneficial, or wise. There are also financial implications if the couple obtained down-payment assistance from HUD or borrowed it from family, and, if the home is sold prior to the five-year residency requirement for owner-occupied property, a capital gains tax can further complicate finances and taxes.

Since opening my practice 14 years ago both divorce and the decisions couples make, have changed. Divorcing spouses are more cooperative, forward thinking and thoughtful about with their choices, and their post-divorce relationships are focused more on helping one another rebuild than tearing each other apart… And they reap the benefits. Any myths that a home must be sold, or couples cannot make any decisions until they’ve gone to court are false. Divorcing couples have numerous options about how to handle their home, including when and if the home is sold or refinanced. Creative short-term refinancing, selling or refinancing in the future with contingencies, preserving equity and co-ownership, and adjusting child support when one parent pays housing costs are just some of the options couples have to positively leverage their asset, avoid financial hardship or losses, and benefit their children. Mediation, in particular, gives couples the power to decide what is best for them practically and financially.  The same process of evaluation and decision-making also applies if couples have investment property.

The key to making the best decision depends entirely on how a couple approaches their divorce, the professionals they engage to help them, and the quality of the guidance they receive. All divorcing couples should understand every option available, the pros and cons of each one, and have time to evaluate before making a final decision. Prematurely applying for a mortgage, which typically includes a hard credit check, will lower credit scores and can limit a couple’s options potentially forcing a decision that may not be beneficial to either of them.

The post Stay or Sell: Divorce and Your Marital Home appeared first on RI Divorce Mediator | RI Divorce Mediation.

Choosing a divorce mediator, the person who will assist you through a difficult period in your life, is an important decision with far reaching and long lasting repercussions if you choose unwisely. Like your choice of doctor, therapist, accountant, lawyer or financial advisor, that person’s training, their professional experience, their “bed-side manner” and especially their personal philosophy that guides how they view their role and perform their service matters a great deal.

Buyer Beware!

Unfortunately, there are a number of “wolves in sheep’s clothing” we’ve seen lurking in the legal profession. These are attorneys that advertise also as “divorce mediators” who offer it to capture additional business that allow the negotiating process to fall apart and then quickly offer to represent only one party, leaving the other party feeling vulnerable and at a disadvantage right from the start. Others we’ve seen offer to represent one party when the mediation is finished which is a violation of the Canon of Ethics that govern the conduct of attorneys.

RI Divorce Mediation Center president Lori Grover, NCM will discuss this practice and how to avoid it in detail in this video. Check back with us periodically or like and follow us on Facebook to have our videos added to your news feed!

The post Divorce Vlog with Lori Grover – Choosing a Divorce Mediator – Week 5 appeared first on RI Divorce Mediator | RI Divorce Mediation.

Sharing child co-parenting time with your ex-spouse during the holidays can either be an enjoyable experience that simply requires a little extra effort, planning and cooperation, or a dreaded experience that leaves everyone involved frustrated, disappointed and bitter every year. We adults set the tone and our children take their cues from us. No one would ever want to admit they spoiled their children’s holiday joy because of old wounds, bitterness or anger over past events. But when these feelings interfere with our ability to make smooth child pick ups, drop offs and minor accommodations for each other’s new holiday plans and traditions with their respective families and friends, that’s what can happen and it’s up to the adults involved, including their extended families, to make sure that doesn’t happen!

The subject of parenting children after your divorce is a topic that will be discussed at length and detail in future videos, so check back every week or so, or like and follow us on Facebook to have our videos added to your news feed!

The post Divorce Vlog with Lori Grover – Children and Holidays – Week 4 appeared first on RI Divorce Mediator | RI Divorce Mediation.

In this video divorce mediator Lori Grover discusses how to protect your credit rating and avoid the common mistakes couples often make when refinancing mortgages or managing personal and joint credit accounts when preparing to divorce. The subject of dividing assets and marital debt will be discussed in much greater detail in future videos, so check back every week or follow us on Facebook to have our videos added to your news feed!

The post Divorce Vlog with Lori Grover – Protecting Your Credit Rating – Week 3 appeared first on RI Divorce Mediator | RI Divorce Mediation.

In this video Lori Grover discusses the concept that there are 5 stages of divorce, from the decision to move forward, through the execution to recovery and buttoning up the final details when it’s over. The 5 stages of divorce will be discussed in detail in future videos, so check back every week or follow us on Facebook to have our videos added to your news feed!

The post Divorce Vlog with Lori Grover – 5 Stages of Divorce – Week 2 appeared first on RI Divorce Mediator | RI Divorce Mediation.

What the Divorce Vlog with Lori Grover is all about! Discover what you don’t yet know about having a smooth, successful divorce before you start. Follow us on Facebook to have our videos added to your news feed!
 

The post Divorce Vlog with Lori Grover – Create a Plan – Week 1 appeared first on RI Divorce Mediator | RI Divorce Mediation.